Every lifeguard is trained to understand that the deceptive thing about drowning is that it doesn’t look like what most people imagine. The same thing often applies to depression.

Just because a person isn’t flailing their arms in the water doesn’t mean they’re not drowning. And just because a person smiles doesn’t mean they’re not battling depression.

Accept yourself

No one cares about your insecurities & imperfections more than you do. The more that you accept & become comfortable with yourself – as you are – the less others will notice or care about the things that once seemed like such a big deal to you.

Silent appreciation is easily confused with silence

Silent appreciation is easily confused with silence.

If someone has done or is doing something that you appreciate, respect, or admire, take the time to acknowledge it in a meaningful way. It is an extremely easy and effective action that amplifies good feelings & positivity and helps to ensure that the things you appreciate continue.

Lessons Learned from The Path Less Traveled by Zero Dean


Lessons Learned from The Path Less Traveled by Zero Dean

The time it takes to provide sincere appreciation…

Excerpt from: Sincere appreciation and authentic encouragement


The time it takes to provide sincere appreciation and authentic encouragement is far eclipsed by the amount of time it lingers in the mind of the recipient.


Don’t give power to those who don’t have your best interest in mind

Excerpt from: The freedom to be

Don’t give power to those who don’t have your best interest in mind. Reclaim the freedom to be your true self by defining your own identity and wrestle back control of your thoughts, feelings, and sense of self-worth from those you have inadvertently given power over you.



Dealing with mean people

Excerpt from: One less rhinoceros (intentions vs actions & dealing with mean people)


One of the reasons that being mean to mean people isn’t terribly effective is that people learn most through personal experience or by observation of others.

Giving someone a taste of their own medicine is very unlikely to teach them anything new or show them that there’s a better way.

By being mean to a mean person, you’re simply showing them a behavior they’re already familiar with. All your negative actions do is demonstrate that you can stoop to their level. And now instead of just one person acting badly, there are two. And rather than solve the problem, it makes things worse.


Losing your shit

“I get so annoyed when people…”

“If this person [performs annoying action], I’m going to respond by [acting badly]….”

Often, when we think things like this, we’re not only setting ourselves up to harbor negativity and carry unnecessary stress, we create triggers for future negative thoughts & feelings.

“I get so annoyed when people…” not only creates the expectation that we will feel annoyed when something we expect to annoy us happens, we essentially give ourselves permission — in advance — to be annoyed when it happens.

It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

And in the worst cases, we take it a step further and use our annoyance as an excuse to behave badly.

“If customer service doesn’t give me the answer I want, I’m going to lose my shit.”

Remember, crossing paths with an idiot is not an excuse to also act like an idiot.

We often deal with situations on automatic pilot and forget that getting annoyed — or at least staying annoyed — is a choice. We don’t have to let the bad behavior of others affect us as much as we often do.

How much more effective it would be if, instead of creating a negative expectation, we created a positive one:

“The next time I encounter something that annoys me, I’m going to handle it in a positive way.”

It’s much easier to handle the negative situations we encounter in life when we expect — or better yet, train ourselves — to deal with them productively.

We certainly don’t have to let the bad behavior of others cause us to act badly or lose our shit in response.

“That guy cut me off, so I’m going to do the same to him. That’ll teach him!”

The “lessons” we often try to teach people by acting badly are often lost on them. Rarely does the recipient of bad behavior respond with, “Wow, you’re right.”

On the contrary, it often provokes more bad behavior and more negativity.

If you want to teach someone a “lesson”, be a role model and set a good example.

Don’t let the bad behavior of others be an excuse to also act badly.

You’ll know you’re on the right track when, if everyone imitated your actions, the world would be a nicer place.

Lead by example.

“Inner Peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.”



Relationships 101

Never stop doing the kinds of things that made you and your partner fall in love with each other in the first place.

Many people make the mistake of no longer furthering their efforts once they achieve what they want. Only to then wonder why they lost what they had.


Yes, learn from your mistakes, but don’t penalize your current partner for past partners offenses.

Every person you meet has different habits and a different history. The past is not the present.

Give people you meet a chance to demonstrate the type of person they are through their actions not someone else’s.


If you like it, encourage it.

Always remember that your actions help influence whether there is more or less of something in the world.

The reason why bad news, people acting badly, and superficial pop culture is so popular is because people give their attention to it. This, in turn, creates more of exactly the sorts of things people say they don’t want.

This is why it is so important to encourage those who are doing the sorts of things you would like to see more of.

If you like it, encourage it. If you admire it, say so. If you appreciate it, express it.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a friend, a family member, a stranger on the street, or someone you cross paths with online, everyone can always use a little encouragement and positive feedback. Your recognition of the things you appreciate helps to prolong those things and ensure their future existence. Ten seconds of your time is all it takes (although thirty or more is more meaningful).

In a world of takers, be someone who gives back.


Originally published on: Oct 20, 2014

They’ll never know it if you never show it

Please support your favorite content providers.

Just a reminder that the people who create pages and content that you like will never know it if you never show it.

It seems a shame not to show your support or say “thank you” when it is as easy as clicking a button, leaving a comment, or sharing something.

If you simply consume “free” content — that someone put time into finding or creating for you — and you never show appreciation, express encouragement, or provide feedback, there is a greater chance that your content provider will eventually disappear for lack of support.

And while there will always be more free content on the ever-hungry Internet, many people, pages, and blogs are not given the chance they deserve to truly shine because content consumers take them for granted.

Many people, pages, and blogs who want to attract a larger audience without spending a fortune on advertising, resorting to annoying self-promotion, or who aren’t directly connected to someone willing to promote them, can only do so effectively with your help.

All of the pages, blogs, and even commercial sites that haven’t reached the tipping point appreciate your support much more than you probably imagine.

They’ll never know it if you never show it.



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