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Help stamp out rampant complaining.

The fact that you’ve probably never enjoyed listening to anyone else complain is a pretty solid sign that no one enjoys listening to you do it either.

Help stamp out rampant complaining.

Always focus on solutions and what is within your power to change.

Even just changing your message from, “This is a problem!” to “This is a problem and I want to fix it.” changes your tone, implies there is a real purpose for your message and invites a discussion for solutions.

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Originally Published on: Aug 27, 2013 @ 13:23

The little lies we tell

If you have a problem with “Tell the truth, even if it hurts”, then know that what you’re essentially saying is that it’s okay for people to lie to you, as long as the lie appeals to your ego and sense of worth.

If you want to build a relationship based on false beliefs and miscommunication, then lying to a person because it makes them feel better — or makes you feel better about yourself — is an excellent way to accomplish this.

Not only is this not an open or honest way to communicate, it is one of the reasons why so many friendships and marriages fail. Because rather than truly address and resolve issues, friends or couples choose to cover them up with “little white lies.”

Originally published January 16, 2014

Silent support isn’t supportive

  • “I liked that shop, it’s too bad they closed.”
  • “That was a great website, I wonder why it went offline.”
  • “I really like that artist, I wonder why they don’t make art anymore.”

Silent support isn’t supportive.

Support can be anything from kind words & encouragement, positive feedback, to patronage & purchases. If you like or appreciate something, take the time to express it.

Related:

“Happiness is a choice” isn’t helpful

Even if attaining a state of happiness was as simple as making a choice, telling someone who isn’t happy that “happiness is a choice” is as about as helpful as teaching someone how to fish by telling them that “there are fish in the sea”.

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Strive for authenticity

Bit by bit we create fictitious relationships with people when how we act isn’t congruent with who we truly are. And then if we rely on or grow fond of those relationships, we become conditioned to elicit behaviors that aren’t a reflection of our true selves.

This poses a number of problems. Not least of which is the fact that the bigger the gap becomes between how we act and who we truly are, the more friction we feel. Even if we don’t feel uneasy at the time, living in an incongruent fashion eventually catches up with us and manifests itself as any number of relationship-related issues.

Always strive to act as authentically as possible. By aligning how you act with who you truly are, you will not only form far more meaningful and rewarding relationships, you will naturally attract many more of the types of people you actually want in your life.

Originally Published on: May 21, 2017 @ 19:38

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