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The unique you is beautiful

The unique you is beautiful

Your quirks. Your interest in unusual things. The small things that bring you joy. The odd things you do because they feel right to you. The unique things that you find funny — or fascinating — these are the things about you that make you truly unique and different from others — and they are among, if not the most beautiful things about you.

It can take bravery to be yourself and exert your individuality, but the alternative — to conform — is to become less of an individual. While there is an implied comfort & safety in conformity, conformity represents the ordinary. The status quo. And it is the enemy of creativity.

It is ok to fit in, but to actively change yourself to be just like the crowd is to yield your personal power & influence to others.

Every time you change something unique about yourself in order to be just like someone else, a piece of the best part of you dies.

Don’t think of it as being “weird” or “different”, think of it as being limited edition. Be extraordinary. Not ordinary.

Originally Published on: Jul 8, 2013 @ 06:21

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The unique you is beautiful

Don’t squander your potential…

 

Don't squander your potential...

“Don’t squander your potential living a life that amounts to far less than the one you are capable of living.” — Zero Dean

Originally Published on: Sep 29, 2015

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Don't squander your potential...

Social Media casinos

The moment you begin liking or commenting on people’s posts on social media as an agreed-upon exchange of ‘value’ is the moment you are no longer being genuine. Once you start liking someone’s content without regard to whether you actually like it or not – because they’ve agreed to do the same for you – is the moment you become a servant to social media.

While everyone wants to feel like what they have to offer is of value, entering into agreements where you will engage with other people’s posts if they engage with yours means that the engagement is no longer prompted by the value something offers, but instead by the value you hope to get in exchange for your engagement.

Social media is already an unfair system – which is why people seek to find ways to outwit it – and, generally speaking, it’s foolish to think that changing your behavior to manipulate a system in your favor is something that hasn’t already been accounted for. Especially when social media is made up of millions of people just like you who are seeking ways benefit from it. With enough data, your response to your experience on social media becomes predictable.

Every action you perform on social media – and many that you perform on your phone or in your computer browser – are tracked and analyzed. And have been since you joined their system. This is not done for your benefit, but for theirs. Again, with enough data, your behavior becomes predictable – especially when collated with the data of millions (or billions) of other people.

Social media companies are like casinos, they exist to make money and the systems that allow them to do so are forever slanted in their favor. The more a company can manipulate people into changing their behavior, the more predictable people become and the more money a company can make.

If you’ve fallen into a pattern of changing your behavior on social media from what was once authentic & natural to something that is inauthentic & calculated in order to manipulate social media to work for you, understand that this behavior has already been accounted for and the only thing truly being manipulated is you.

Social Media casinos

Social Media casinos

Social Media casinos

Social Media casinos

Authenticity vs conformity

Authenticity vs conformity

The act of trying to be normal is a form of approval-seeking. It’s a sign of being so concerned with what others think that you conform your behavior & looks to meet a subjective standard. It means regularly comparing yourself to others to ensure that you’re not doing anything out of the ordinary.

While there are certain accepted standards in every culture that are beneficial to abide to, being so concerned with what others think that you forfeit the things that make you unique & bring you pleasure, is to forfeit authenticity for conformity and personal power for approval.

Authenticity vs conformity

It’s one person, not everyone

It's one person, not everyone

Reminder:

One person’s preferences are not representative of everyone’s preferences.

One person’s opinion is not representative of everyone’s opinion.

One person’s values are not representative of everyone’s values.

One person’s priorities are not representative of everyone’s priorities.

One person’s beliefs are not representative of everyone’s beliefs.

Carry on accordingly.

It's one person, not everyone

Be mindful of how your habits make you feel

Be mindful of how your habits make you feel

Be mindful of how you feel while or after you do things regularly. The things you do that are good for you will often make you feel better. Those that are not good for you will often make you feel worse – or simply use up your time without providing value.

Many people continue doing things that no longer add value to their lives because those things have become part of a routine that is acted upon without thinking.

Always be mindful of the things you do regularly and how those things make you feel – and be sure to discard those that no longer serve you.

Just because it’s a habit you’ve worked into your life doesn’t mean it makes you happy. Always strive to seek new habits that do.

Be mindful of how your habits make you feel

Optimism vs Pessimism

Optimism vs Pessimism

The number of opportunities in your life expand or contract based on how you think and the actions you take as a result of that thinking.

Always keep in mind that optimism & positivity build pathways to places you want to go. Whereas, the winding paths of pessimism & negativity will – more often than not – lead to dark destinations and dead end roads.

Pessimism is particularly problematic for those prone to depression because darkness & dead ends can create feelings of being trapped. And it is very difficult to escape from places you don’t want to be when your frame of mind doesn’t allow you to see the exit.

Whether it’s your relationships, career, goals, or something else entirely, changing the results you get from life is largely a matter of changing how you think about where you are and where you want to be and taking positive action as a result of that new way of thinking.

Exits and opportunities reveal themselves to those whose attitude & vision make them visible. In the same way that the more you close your eyes, the less you can see, the more one closes their mind to possibilities, the less apparent those possibilities will be.

Always be mindful of your mindset and the attitude you harbor when seeking ways to change the results you get from life. Harboring the belief that what you want is possible and taking action to get it is far more likely to lead to getting it than sitting in the dark convinced that you won’t.

Optimism vs Pessimism

Hurt people hurt people

I woke up to a 1 star book review from someone who states they didn’t read it, but were offended by the book’s description. Rather than let it get to me, I genuinely laughed (which is in stark contrast to the first 1 star review I ever received). And then I wrote this…

Hurt people hurt people

Far too many people have been fooled into believing that their negative actions are producing positive results. And that by trying to hurt people, they’re making the world better.

There is a saying, “Hurt people hurt people.” – and the world is full of people who are hurting right now. So there are also a lot of people lashing out in an attempt to inflict damage on others. And in many cases, they do.

But hurting people is a choice. Because hurt people can also help people – and the act of doing so will likely lead to far more rewarding feelings than the rush of seratonin that comes from feeling like you just “beat” someone. Because when the sense of impacting someone else in a negative way is over, there’s really nothing to feel proud of.

If you find yourself going about your days looking for ways to inflict damage on others, take a moment to consider ways in which you could help someone instead.

A world of people behaving badly doesn’t reduce bad behavior, it perpetuates it. If you truly want to make a positive difference in the world, lead with love & kindness, not hate & anger. Even if you’re hurting.

Hurt people hurt people

Normal is weirder than most people think

Normal is weirder than most people think

So many people put up a facade to appear “normal” when the fact is, true normal is a lot weirder than most people’s interpretation of normal would lead you to believe.

For the record, please feel free to be your weird-ass, quirky, imperfect self around me. I prefer it.

Normal is weirder than most people think

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