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Complaining vs Encouragement

You can be someone who looks for and complains about what they don’t like — or you can be someone who looks for and encourages the things they do like. One of these things will nearly always leave you feeling better than the other.

You can wish that more people did a certain thing — or you can actively begin showing appreciation to those who already do. And once again, one will nearly always leave you feeling better than the other.

The fact is, how we approach and seek to overcome problems can leave us feeling better or worse. Combating a negative situation with more negativity is rarely effective. But seeking ways to fight negativity in a positive and empowering way often is.

Encouraging the types of things and behaviors we want to see more of not only leaves us feeling more empowered than complaining does, it helps set a positive example for others to follow. This, in turn, helps to create more of the type of people and behaviors we want to see more of and less of the type of people and behaviors we don’t.

Encouragement is extremely powerful in that it not only nurtures the people you give it to, it nurtures the very thing you are encouraging. And this, in turn, brings into the world more of what you would like to see.

• • •

And remember:

1. It’s ok to show appreciation for things that you feel should be or are relatively common. People love recognition for the good things that they do.

  • You can thank someone for returning their grocery cart to the carousel
  • You can thank someone for cleaning up their mess in a public place
  • You can thank someone for holding the door for someone else
  • You can thank someone for any positive action you see them perform

2. Perception isn’t always reality. Just because you think someone appears successful or isn’t the type of person (or company) that could use positive feedback doesn’t mean your assessment is accurate. When everyone assumes their feedback won’t be significant to the people (or companies) they give it to, few people provide feedback. So instead of the perception that someone is being buried with praise, the opposite is true.

The point is, always take the time to show meaningful appreciation for the things that you like regardless of how “liked” you think they are.

Silent appreciation is easily confused with silence.

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Little by little

 

A little lie is still a lie.
A little abuse is still abuse.
A little racism is still racism.
A little bullying is still bullying.
A little infidelity is still infidelity.
A little nepotism is still nepotism.
A little negativity is still negativity.
A little immaturity is still immaturity.
A little narcissism is still narcissism.
A little name calling is still name calling.
A little discrimination is still discrimination.
A little sexual assault is still sexual assault.
A little mental instability is still mental instability.
A little disregard for the environment is still disregard for the environment.

Evil doesn’t just show up and announce itself as evil. It might even look like something good at first. And it will certainly try to convince you that it is. But little by little it works in ways that end up having major negative consequences if you continue to turn a blind eye to the damage it’s doing in what it wants you to believe is in your own best interest.

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The future should be something we all look forward to.

 

Just because an abuser feels justified being abusive and has a vocal support group doesn’t excuse their actions or make them right.

It can be difficult holding your ground in the shadow of forces that seek to stifle logic, tolerance, honesty, and common sense, but it’s important that you do. This is especially true in a chaotic political climate.

If those who are meant to represent us are not leading us to a better and brighter future, it is important that we elect those who do. The future should be something we all look forward to, not just a select few.

Regardless of our ethnicity, cultural background, political or religious beliefs, or sexual preferences, our leaders should inspire us all to be better people, better to each other, and better for the world.

On Kindness & Disrespect

You can be a kind person and still be the kind of person who yells profanity at the car that cuts you off in traffic. Being kind and not tolerating bullshit are not mutually exclusive. Being a kind person doesn’t mean you can’t verbalize your disapproval for disrespect.

Crossing paths with idiots is never an excuse to act badly and you should always strive to set a good example, but it doesn’t mean you have to stay silent or put up with abuse.

Sometimes the biggest favor you can do someone is to stay calm and speak the truth. And sometimes that truth is, “You’re being an asshole and here’s why…” At other times it may mean not giving your time and attention to someone who doesn’t respect it.

You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to be a Zen Master. And you certainly don’t have to tolerate bullshit. Just lead with kindness and always do your best. Even when others are not at their own.

Living in harmony

Being able to live in harmony with others is largely dependent on being able to effectively communicate with those who choose to live their lives differently than you do.

Spewing negativity and hate doesn’t lead to less hate and negativity. Break the chain. Lead by example.

Just because it sounds good doesn’t make it true

Just because it sounds good doesn’t make it true. Always seek the whole truth, not just the version that pleases you.

Remaining closed to factual evidence that contradicts what you believe doesn’t make the truth less truthful, it simply supports a distorted view of life based on limited information, half-truths, or outright lies.

People are often content to believe lies as long those lies fit the narrative they wish to follow.

Always remember that people naturally seek evidence to support what they already believe. It doesn’t make them bad people. It does, however, make them impressionable to those who use this fact against them.

People are happy to root for the bad guy if the bad guy repeatedly reaffirms what they already believe. It doesn’t have to be true. It just has to fit the narrative they already believe.

When seeking the truth, be sure to consider evidence that challenges your beliefs. Otherwise, it isn’t the truth you seek, it’s simply confirmation of what you already believe.

When compassionate souls sit silent

It is a sad day when compassionate souls sit silent and leave unchallenged abuses and acts of aggression out of fear of losing friends that are only their friends as long as they remain silent and hide what they feel.

If someone is going to abandon your friendship because you feel empathy and compassion towards others, believe in human rights, and are against discrimination, lying, and abuses of power, then they really aren’t the kind of friend you want in your life anyway.

A true friend will never insist that you hide who you are and how you feel.

Wishes for the New Year

May the new year bring you an abundance of amazing opportunities, beautiful moments, and joyful experiences. May your positive actions & attitude inspire others. May you be brave enough to take on and overcome rewarding challenges. May you find yourself in high spirits & excellent health. May you love with all your heart and find peace in even the most turbulent of times. May the love you give find its way back to you. And may you forever be filled with the hope & strength necessary to make your dreams a reality.

May the new year bring you an abundance of amazing opportunities, beautiful moments, and joyful experiences. May your positive actions & attitude inspire others.

May you be brave enough to take on and overcome rewarding challenges. May you find yourself in high spirits & excellent health. May you love with all your heart and find peace in even the most turbulent of times.

May the love you give find its way back to you. And may you forever be filled with the hope & strength necessary to make your dreams a reality.

Sincerely,
Zero Dean

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Originally published on: Dec 30, 2013 @ 18:10

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Be the indispensable lead of your own life story

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“If you don’t build your own dream someone else will hire you to help build theirs.” — Tony Gaskins Jr.

It’s better to be the indispensable lead of your own life story than a dispensable part of someone else’s.

Remember to live your life by choice not by chance.

“Don’t put the key to your happiness is someone else’s pocket.”

Have a purpose. Set goals. Aim high. And take action.

“When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen.”

Direct your life. Don’t just drift.

“The amount of satisfaction you get from life depends largely on your own ingenuity, self-sufficiency, and resourcefulness. People who wait around for life to supply their satisfaction usually find boredom instead.” — Dr. William Menninger

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