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Don’t leave your sense of worth and well-being in the hands of others.

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Excerpt from: Likability. Being liked and unliked.

If you want to reach your full potential, then you must learn to accept yourself for who you are & who you want to be and take personal responsibility for your life and how you feel.

And along the way to self-actualization, you must be prepared to be unpopular. Don’t leave your sense of worth and well-being in the hands of others.

Those who achieve greatness in life don’t let others dictate how they feel about themselves — and neither should you.

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It’s better to be your genuine self…

Excerpt from: Don’t live your life wearing a disguise.

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It’s better to be your genuine self and have fewer of the right kinds of people in your life than it is to surround yourself with those who only accept you as long as you conform to their idea of who you should be.

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Keys to self-confidence

One of the keys to self-confidence is recognizing those things that make you feel vulnerable or self-conscious and then accepting them.

Because when you accept yourself for who you are — flaws and all — you leave people far less capable of adversely affecting your sense of self-worth.

One of the byproducts of a stable sense of self-worth is self-confidence.

When you truly know who you are — and who you are in the process of becoming — you will no longer live in fear of what people say or think about you.

Take the time to get to know yourself.

Learn to know the difference between what you can change about yourself and what you can’t.

Understand that you are a work-in-progress and that the things about yourself that you have power over — such as your attitude, diet, fitness, habit, and skills — can and will change for the better over time if you work on them.

Regardless of where you are in your journey, accept yourself as you are at this time.

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When you truly know who you are…

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When you truly know who you are — and who you are in the process of becoming — you will no longer live in fear of what people say or think about you.

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Image above inspired by: Pictures in boxes

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Normal may be normal, but it doesn’t mean good.

Always remember that what you may consider totally weird, someone else may consider perfectly normal. And vice-versa.

Reminding yourself that what is weird and what is normal is subjective is a major step towards living in harmony with people.

Yes, every society has its standards, but every society’s standards for what is considered normal are not only subject to change, what is considered normal at any given time isn’t necessarily good for the people who contribute to making it normal.

For example, if enough people in a given area act out a bad habit consistently that bad habit becomes normal and accepted. Smoking comes to mind.

So remember, before you judge someone for not being normal, remember that normal is not only subjective, normal is not synonymous for good.

And normal certainly isn’t good if it means judging others unfavorably for exerting their individuality and not simply conforming to the crowd.

“Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.” — Charles Addams

Related:

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Don’t live your life wearing a disguise.

It’s better to be your genuine self and have fewer of the right kinds of people in your life than it is to surround yourself with those who only accept you as long as you conform to their idea of who you should be.

Don’t live your life wearing a disguise.

When you refuse to be anything but your genuine self, you give those who are most compatible with who you are a chance to find you.

Never fear being rejected by those who seek to confine you to their expectations. It’s OK not to be liked or accepted by everyone you cross paths with on your journey.

You have to live your own life, learn from what life experiences provide you and evolve into the person you were meant to be.

Sometimes it’s necessary to take a step back and let go of things that are keeping you from making progress in life in order to make space for more of the things that will help you fulfill your potential.

Related:

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Integrity and independent thinking

Gathering data to make an informed opinion is one thing. Simply waiting to agree with the crowd is something else entirely.

Being yourself and maintaining your integrity means standing up for what you believe to be right and true whether it’s in the company of a crowd or not.

Fear of self-expression is a form of self-imposed slavery.

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Seeing things differently

Seen in a meme:

“Sometimes I think I’m crazy because I see things differently than everyone else.”

You’re not crazy if you don’t always agree with the crowd. Group dynamics is one of the most powerful forces in human psychology.

The Asch conformity experiments demonstrate that even the most seemingly logical of people can be influenced to make bad decisions due to one’s internal desire to conform to group expectations.

“Groupthink is a psychological phenomenon that occurs within groups of people, in which the desire for harmony in a decision-making group overrides a realistic appraisal of alternatives. Group members try to minimize conflict and reach a consensus decision without critical evaluation of alternative ideas or viewpoints.

The primary socially negative cost of groupthink is the loss of individual creativity, uniqueness, and independent thinking.” — Wikipedia

Group dynamics can cause people to act irrationally and at their own expense or the expense of others.

Group dynamics can cloud the truth, cause us to desire junk, turn us against people we love, and even follow & support leaders who would do us harm.

Group dynamics is often at the core of prejudice and discrimination.

Independent thinking is far less common than it should be. It should be praised.

It takes an exceptional kind of integrity to stick up for what you believe is right and true when facing a group.

Being able to see things differently is a valuable skill and is often what allows us to make great strides in technologies and processes that benefit all. Due to group dynamics, however, truly new and original ideas are often ridiculed before they are accepted.

“For a work to be truly creative, it has to depart from the status quo at some point. That departure makes many people uncomfortable.” — David Burkus (99u)

The ability to see things differently than the crowd and maintain one’s integrity despite pressure to conform is a gift. Being able to see things differently than other people doesn’t make you crazy. It makes you valuable.

“The person who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The person who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been before.” — *Francis Phillip Wernig

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