If you want to be happy


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Excerpt from: my book series

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“Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.” — Groucho Marx

Imagine how hard it would be for someone to be happy if they spent their time:

  • Focused on their faults, failures & shortcomings (imagined or not).
  • Focused on feeling miserable.
  • Dreading the future.
  • Consuming garbage and then feeling bad about it (or as a result of it).
  • Isolating themselves from others.
  • Focused on what they’ve lost or lack in life.
  • Constantly comparing themselves to those who are more fortunate than they are.
  • Unable to accept themselves for who they are.
  • Unable to see their value as a person.
  • Lacking any sense of purpose.
  • Always assuming the worst outcome for any situation.
  • Being cynical of others’ motives without justification.
  • Making excuses or blaming others for bad behavior.
  • Acting rudely or without regard to others.
  • Refusing to try new things or adapt to new situations or environments.
  • Letting what other people say or think impact their sense of self-worth.

And yet people do this. They consistently do the things that we associate with unhappiness and then wonder why happiness escapes them.

If you want to be happy, don’t make a habit of doing what unhappy people do.

If you want to be happy, it’s important to take steps to do what you might expect happy people would do:

  • Focus on making the most of what you have.
  • Focus on what you’re grateful for.
  • Focus on building and furthering relationships.
  • Focus on accepting yourself for the work-in-progress that you are.
  • Focus on the now — this moment — and make it the best it can be. Let the future take care of itself.
  • Focus on improvement, not perfection.
  • Focus on truly knowing who you are, what your values are, what you stand for, and the type of person you ultimately want to be.
  • Focus not on your mistakes, but on the lessons you learn from them.
  • Have a purpose. Stand for something. Find something to be passionate about.
  • Focus on not letting people control your feelings or emotions.
  • Focus on taking responsibility for your life and not blaming others for your well-being.
  • Don’t live in fear other people’s thoughts or opinions.
  • Focus on solutions, not problems.
  • Do more of the things that make you happy.
  • Show compassion & value the well-being of others.
  • Act with generosity & maintain an abundance mindset.
  • Try new things. Learn new skills. Adapt. Say yes to opportunities.

But also remember, it’s ok not to be happy. It’s ok to have negative emotions. It’s ok to make mistakes. These are an essential part of life and how we learn. But it’s important to not let these things hold us back or lock us into a cycle of self-pity.

Instead, we can use negative emotions and feelings of discontent as the motivation to initiate positive changes in our lives.

The more you release yourself from the negatives in your life and let go of the things that are holding you back from being happy, the more you free yourself to adopt a lifestyle that creates an environment that allows for, nurtures, and sustains happiness.

Refuse to emotionally succumb to the negative events around you and tap your mental toughness to thrive in any environment. The good guy doesn’t always win and justice doesn’t always prevail, but where you direct your mental energy will always determine your attitude and it will always be controlled by you.” — Steve Siebold

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