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Complaining vs Encouragement

You can be someone who looks for and complains about what they don’t like — or you can be someone who looks for and encourages the things they do like. One of these things will nearly always leave you feeling better than the other.

You can wish that more people did a certain thing — or you can actively begin showing appreciation to those who already do. And once again, one will nearly always leave you feeling better than the other.

The fact is, how we approach and seek to overcome problems can leave us feeling better or worse. Combating a negative situation with more negativity is rarely effective. But seeking ways to fight negativity in a positive and empowering way often is.

Encouraging the types of things and behaviors we want to see more of not only leaves us feeling more empowered than complaining does, it helps set a positive example for others to follow. This, in turn, helps to create more of the type of people and behaviors we want to see more of and less of the type of people and behaviors we don’t.

Encouragement is extremely powerful in that it not only nurtures the people you give it to, it nurtures the very thing you are encouraging. And this, in turn, brings into the world more of what you would like to see.

• • •

And remember:

1. It’s ok to show appreciation for things that you feel should be or are relatively common. People love recognition for the good things that they do.

  • You can thank someone for returning their grocery cart to the carousel
  • You can thank someone for cleaning up their mess in a public place
  • You can thank someone for holding the door for someone else
  • You can thank someone for any positive action you see them perform

2. Perception isn’t always reality. Just because you think someone appears successful or isn’t the type of person (or company) that could use positive feedback doesn’t mean your assessment is accurate. When everyone assumes their feedback won’t be significant to the people (or companies) they give it to, few people provide feedback. So instead of the perception that someone is being buried with praise, the opposite is true.

The point is, always take the time to show meaningful appreciation for the things that you like regardless of how “liked” you think they are.

Silent appreciation is easily confused with silence.


A way forward


Always seek ways to make progress in some area of your life even when you come to a standstill in another. Often, the key to making progress on one path can be found by making progress down another.

There is nearly always a way forward even if you have to take a step back to get there.

Opportunities await those willing to put in the effort.

Keep going.


Diminishing the effectiveness of negativity

In a world of negativity, every positive act you perform, no matter how small, not only helps to set a good example, it helps to diminish the effectiveness of those who spew hate and negativity.

If you want to do some good then literally do some good. Make a positive difference in someone’s life. Do the things you wish more people would do.

What you do for people and the moments and memories you help create can literally change a person’s life (including your own).

It’s OK to be concerned, angry, and upset about the state of things. It’s OK to speak out against hate, intolerance, and injustice. It’s OK to stand up for what you believe is morally right. Just be sure that when you do so, you do it in a way that has a positive impact and doesn’t just add to the negative energy that you oppose. Convert your positive (or negative) energy into positive action. Lead by example by performing actions that you can be proud of no matter how you are feeling.

Make sure children and adults alike can see that there is far more to the world than the things that get shown in the news. That there is far more good in the world than hate. And far more people wishing to create something beautiful than those who wish to destroy it.

Some people may be beyond reach, but there are still countless individuals of all ages and all walks of life in the world that could use the guidance of your good example.

Don’t ever let your disapproval for anyone or anything turn you into someone you don’t want to be.

The path to one’s goals isn’t linear


On many occasions, the answer to problems in one area of your life will come as a result of making progress somewhere else.

Refuse to waste time being deterred by something you can’t do and focus on something else that you can. Sometimes the rewards for your efforts on one path will help provide you with what you need to go down another.


The fire you light within yourself


Along the way to achieving whatever it is you desire, make sure your mindset is conducive to creating positive thought processes that reinforce your efforts.

Because until one changes the way they think, they will continue to follow familiar patterns in life. An example of this is when people start new endeavors with enthusiasm (or make New Year’s resolutions), but then fail to find the motivation necessary to follow through after obstacles arise.

The fire you light within yourself must not only burn hot enough to stay alight during turbulent times, it mustn’t be dependent on things you have no control over.

When life shuts a door…

Seen in a meme:

“When life shuts a door… Open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.”

Yes, doors may work that way, but opportunities don’t.

But that doesn’t mean other opportunities don’t exist.

The key to maximizing one’s potential to meet opportunities is to not passively wait for opportunities to land on one’s lap, and instead, continually be on the lookout for new ones.

And if no opportunities appear to exist, take steps to facilitate their existence. Learn new skills, hone existing ones, and try to view the world from a different angle.

Often, a change of perspective is enough to draw one’s attention to opportunities that were cleverly disguised as something else.

Don’t close yourself off to potential opportunities simply because you don’t see them from your current level of awareness.

Keeping an open mind and believing that opportunities exist — despite one’s ability to immediately see them — is often enough to keep them from going unnoticed.

Those who don’t look for opportunities will have to settle for the rare few that land on their lap.



The next level


Despite expectations and intentions, everyone’s lives are occasionally punctuated with plateaus upon which little appears to happen.

Reaching a plateau in life is simply a sign that in order for things to advance to the next level, either you or something you’re doing must change.

“Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.” — Alvin Toffler


Choose an authentic life that fits you

Excerpt from: Do your thing.


Choose an authentic life that fits you, not a poorly fitting imitation of someone else’s.