Play
Slider

Your mission, if you choose to accept it…

Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to find an opportunity to give someone *sincere*, positive praise today.

Or tell someone’s boss or manager that the person who helped you (or others) is doing a great job.

Or write a positive review for a product or establishment that you appreciate.

Accentuate the positive.

Related:

Take the time to express it

Take the time to say it.

“You know what I really like about you…”
“I love it when you…”
“I really respect you for…”
“This thing you did had such a good effect on me…”
“Thank you for…”
“I really appreciate it when you…”
“I admire you for…”
“One of my favorite memories of you is…”

Accentuate the positive in others and you may just have as positive effect on someone else as they have on you.

Related:

Accentuate the positive

accentuate-the-positive-zero-dean-cloud

Every day you have the power to bring out the best in people simply by sincerely highlighting those things you appreciate about them the most.

Whatever you focus on grows stronger. When you focus on those things you enjoy most about people (and life in general), you not only encourage more of the types of behaviors you like to see in others, you attract more of these types of things into your life.

The same is true when you look for the negative. Not only will you find it, you’ll magnify it.

This is why it’s important to be very deliberate with what you choose to focus on, because it is extremely easy to leapfrog from one negative thing to another until you suddenly find yourself overwhelmed, depressed, or in despair.

This is not to say we should ignore problems — or those traits in others we don’t like — only that when we direct out attention to these things, we remain solution-oriented, not problem focused.

Related:

bring-out-the-best-in-people-zero-dean

bring-out-the-best-in-people-accentuate-the-positive-zero-dean

accentuate-the-positive-zero-dean

Originally published on: Feb 7, 2014 @ 15:41
Republished on: Jun 6, 2015 @ 14:41

How to be a Superhero in Real Life (Part 3)

In this series:

how-to-be-a-superhero-part-3a-zero-dean

How to be a Superhero in Real Life (Part 3) by Zero Dean

  • Live a life you’re proud of
  • Be open to new ideas
  • Share your enthusiasm
  • Respect your body
  • Try new things
  • Focus on what you can do, not on what you can’t
  • Let go of what you can’t control
  • Be solution oriented, not problem focused
  • Don’t let others dictate your sense of worth
  • Strive for progress, not perfection
  • Don’t be afraid of failing, be afraid of not trying
  • Focus on what you have, not on what you don’t
  • Forgive yourself & others
  • Let go of your emotional baggage
  • Act with confidence
  • Admit when you are wrong
  • Put things back where they belong
  • Spread hope
  • Make peace
  • Generate joy

Every day.

Related:

How to be a Superhero in Real Life (Part 2)

In this series:

how-to-be-a-superhero-part-2a-zero-dean

How to be a Superhero in Real Life (Part 2) by Zero Dean

  • Be patient with people
  • Lead by example
  • Be tolerant of others
  • Live with a purpose in mind
  • Treat people well, regardless of how you feel
  • Take personal responsibility for your actions & your life
  • Honor your commitments
  • Be brave
  • Appreciate differences
  • Be reliable
  • Be someone you respect and admire
  • Share
  • Let your actions be congruent with your words
  • Live without prejudice
  • Act as if what you do makes a difference
  • Be polite
  • Inspire others
  • Be humble
  • Honor your relationships
  • Be compassionate

Every day.

Related:

How to be a Superhero in Real Life (Part 1)

In this series:

how-to-be-a-superhero-part-1a-zero-dean

How to be a Superhero in Real Life (Part 1) by Zero Dean

  • Encourage others
  • Be the change you wish to see
  • Give without expectation
  • Observe without judging
  • Be authentic & genuine
  • Clean up your own messes
  • Be upfront & honest
  • Give thanks & be sincere
  • Be kind
  • Appreciate without comparing
  • Live with intention
  • Take the time to truly listen to people
  • Pursue excellence
  • Strive to add value wherever you may be
  • Smile sincerely & generously
  • Offer to help without waiting to be asked
  • Treat people with respect & dignity
  • Do what you know is right, even when no one is watching
  • Keep your word
  • Live with integrity & honor

Every day.

Related:

Your life is a Do It Yourself project.

Your life is a Do It Yourself project.

Your life is a Do It Yourself project.

But if you’re lucky and you’re kind, you might just find a few people who will be more than willing to help you along the way.

Because you would do the same for them.

Related:

your-life-is-a-do-it-yourself-project-zero-dean-pg

Is there anything I can do to help?

"Is there anything I can do to help?" is a magical question.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” is a magical question.

Sometimes people have a difficult time asking for help (they are either not comfortable with it or simply don’t know how to ask without appearing selfish or needy). And sometimes people are so independent they don’t even think to ask for it.

And whether or not someone takes you up on your offer, simply asking if you can help is a supportive gesture to show that the person you are offering to help matters to you.

Helping others is not only a great way to build friendships and improve relationships, it can also improve a person’s day, project, or experience beyond measure.

Never feel bad for offering to help someone and they decline your offer (for any reason). Some people are also not very good at recognizing the intention or the thoughts behind a supportive gesture.

Helping people is awesome.

Followup:

From a comment: Better yet, don’t even ask. Just do.

Zero:

Sometimes people don’t look like they could use the help — so it’s not obvious how to help. But by asking, it helps answer the question.

I am one of those people who has a difficult time asking for help. I’m very independent. I feel that if I can do it myself, even if it takes me longer, then I should probably just do it myself. And I also don’t like to appear needy. (Hey, we all have our “things”.)

So when someone asks me if there is anything they can do to help, it can help me get over that “hump”. It also opens up a dialogue that can help strengthen a friendship or relationship.

While there is never anything wrong with trying to help people, there are times when people would rather do “it” themselves than have someone else do “it” for them.

And there are times when people will actually take offense at you doing something for them that they can/want to do themselves. While I don’t think taking offense at helpful gestures is the right thing to do, this is also why I think asking can be helpful (in those cases).

There are also times when we think the best way to help is by offering “advice”, but advice isn’t always the thing that’s truly wanted or most helpful. Especially advice that is given in a “this is what I would do” way, without regard to the context of a person’s journey. Because even our best advice that might help most people, doesn’t necessarily work with all people (the square pegs in the round holes, for example).

And there are times when we think we’re being “helpful”, when we’re really not. Such as when someone tells us they’re depressed, so we say, “Cheer up!” or “It’s always darkest before dawn!” (these things sound nice, but are not particularly helpful to a depressed person).

I think Allie Brosh in her Depression Part 2 post covers that exceptionally well.

“My fish are dead.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll help you find them. Are there any clues where they went?”
“I know where they are. The problem is, they aren’t alive any more.”
“Let’s keep looking! I’m sure they’ll turn up somewhere.”

When people don’t understand the real issue, they tend to offer advice that doesn’t fit the context of the situation. So again, helping people without asking can sometimes lead one down different path than the recipient of the “help” wants to go.

That said, I totally understand the sentiment. I do open and hold doors for people. Or try to find ways to help people when I can (especially when they are obvious). For example, every creative type could nearly always use a hand getting more exposure. People who write stuff like love to be acknowledged. That sort of thing.

See also: Is there anything I can do to help (if so, contact me)

Related:

They’ll never know it if you never show it

Please support your favorite content providers.

Just a reminder that the people who create pages and content that you like will never know it if you never show it.

It seems a shame not to show your support or say “thank you” when it is as easy as clicking a button, leaving a comment, or sharing something.

If you simply consume “free” content — that someone put time into finding or creating for you — and you never show appreciation, express encouragement, or provide feedback, there is a greater chance that your content provider will eventually disappear for lack of support.

And while there will always be more free content on the ever-hungry Internet, many people, pages, and blogs are not given the chance they deserve to truly shine because content consumers take them for granted.

Many people, pages, and blogs who want to attract a larger audience without spending a fortune on advertising, resorting to annoying self-promotion, or who aren’t directly connected to someone willing to promote them, can only do so effectively with your help.

All of the pages, blogs, and even commercial sites that haven’t reached the tipping point appreciate your support much more than you probably imagine.

They’ll never know it if you never show it.

Theme(s):

Related:

Share and Tell Wednesday

*I only send emails when I have news worth sharing. Typically less than 3 times per month. Easily unsubscribe at any time.

Why I want your email address.